My latest display of below average genius:
A reality show based on listening to guys talk as they're taking a piss. There could even be the occasional soliloquy. Each week we visit a different establishment where alcohol is served. One week it could be a high class country club, like Congressional, outside of Washington D.C., or Augusta National. And then the next week the cameras might be rolling in a pseudo pub in Boston, or the Las Muniecas cantina in Santa Ana. And to spice things up, for the final fifteen minutes of the show, a good looking girl goes in and pretends to be a wash room attendant.
There will be a lot of bleeping if they do it on a regular broadcast or cable channel, so for the best results, it'll have to be on HBO.
Thank you and good night. Be sure to join us next week when we travel to Sioux City, Iowa, and for a night of pissing at the Bull Run Bar & Grill.
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9 comments:
I think you should do 4 or 5 videos, taped around 1am, without labeling which is where. Then the contestants must match the name of the establishment with its video.
Is the lush throwing up on the floor from the country club or the local dive?
You talk or acknowledge the presence of other men when your junk's out? Are you planning on airing this on the fabulous Logo network?
I agree with PAD on this one.
While at the concert the other night and between acts, I went to the men's room to relieve myself of my three deftly consumed Heinies. The line was at least thirty-deep and I am happy to report that the twelve restroom urinals handled us all in less than four minutes. You know why? Because not a single drunken one-of-us was talking to each other. Maybe it was the promise of more alcohol just outside of the relief-quarters that helped speed our expulsion(s), but I believe it's just a matter of not wanting to be caught on camera (or thought of as gay).
Okay, you guys have made me aware that what I imagine goes on in liquor-dispensing establishments is not what really happens. Remember, I've never been intoxicated in my life. I'd always supposed that being drunk equaled being funny, outgoing, hilarious and sexually motivated, because that's why I buy women drinks...
Certainly when I'm in front of a urinal, I'm all business and I'm certainly not looking for fun. I just thought that if I was all full of alcohol and in a partying mood, it would carry over into the bathroom.
I'm such a poor excuse of a party animal...
You're excused this time, but next time we're in there, I'm not holding your hand anymore because you're afraid of the big guy in the next stall.
You're on your own from here on out,--and stop taking that camera with you everywhere you go! Get a new realty show, like "The Hooters Bikini Contestants Prep Hour" or "So You Think You're Alone in that Victoria's Secret Dressing Room".
Some people do attempt to engage you in conversation, like, "Ye Gods! Is that thing sponsored by Goodyear?" or "I'll give you $1 million just to touch it," but you just have to learn to ignore those folks.
I really don't want to hear Tinkletoes talking about deftly consuming 3 Hineys in the men's restroom.
and Pistols... You know you would take $5.
Ah, come on Leo, be a sport... I'd consume your Heiney,--if you offered me one.
I am a lucky gal, not even my husband touches my Heiney. They are mine. All mine.
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