Golf Fun

My oldest son, Mike, lives in Utah. He's married and has four kids. He and his family have spent the last ten days here in SoCal. His wife's grandmother, an arch-Mormon, is a millionairess, with whom I've tried to create a warm and nutured relationship, but she resists my efforts to rifle her purse.

I'm not a doting grandparent. Last Saturday was the first time I'd seen my newest granddaughter since her birth, nine months ago. And it was exactly as I'd expected, she had very little to say to me. She comes across as completely childish and self-absorbed: perfect sales lady material.

Mike and I played golf last Saturday. He doesn't get to play that often in Utah, like not at all during the winter and maybe two times the rest of the year. But he spent a lot of time playing as a teen, every summer when he'd come spent time with us.

Saturday is my regular golf day with the Asians. As opposed toe my regular golf day, Wednesday, with the Barbers.

We won both times. He and I were a team in a game against two Asians. He topped his first drive, as we were discussing how many strokes they would give us. After that piss poor drive, the leading Asian said, "Okay, we'll give you four strokes on the front and adjust on the back." I wanted to argue that we didn't need that many but Mike interrupted and shut me up. We beat them by five strokes, scratch, meaning we were up nine strokes. So we had to give them two strokes on the back, but beat them, plus took the press hole, too. It was awesome.

Then today he played with the Barbers. Three groups of four. We were the last group, paired up with Don "Fuck this Game!" Anderson and his son-in-law, Scott. Don wasn't playing all that well and kept moaning about how we were going to lose. But we didn't. We beat the other teams and Don "Love this Game!" Anderson happily pocketed his share of the winnings.

This coming Saturday Mike and his family will stop by on their way home and spend some time with us. I'll post some photos so you ladies can judge the power and majesty of my seed. The men can see, too, but it won't do them any good.