Laztheism and Safe Sects

Remember the Violins in School routine on SNL?

I'm submitting this post to SNL, partly for the money, but mostly to get Laztheism some more exposure. Because the world needs Laztheism. It's always needed it, but who am I to say how much? Does the world need Laztheism more than it needs clean drinking water? No. Does the world need Laztheism more than it needs petroleum? No. Does the world need Laztheism more than it needs tickets to a Bon Jovi concert? Yes.

So it's all relative. Like Ghawd. He's a relative. But as Chico Marx used to say, "I'mma no relative, I'mma guest." The script had another line, but it was cut: "And I'mma a guest violence."

A lot of people were Laztheists before Laztheism had a name. But now that Laztheism has a name, people are afraid to join because they think there are dues. People, Laztheism is the OPPOSITE of death and taxes.

Remember what Shakespeare suggested in the Soliloquy: "...and by opposing end them."

Anyway, with Laztheism you don't need a condiment. "Aye, there's the rub."