Local Radio Program Teaches a Lesson

"Handel on the Law" is heard on Saturday mornings locally on KFI. It's in syndication around the nation, so there's a tiny, tiny possibility that you've heard the show. The intent of the show is for the moderator, William Wolfe Handel, Esq., to find some way to humiliate you after you tell him about a legal problem you have and to ask the first of the show's two catch-phrases, "Do I have a case?" (The second catch-phrase is "And then I tell you you have no case!")

Last Saturday a guy called in to ask if he could sue a former neighbor, whose full name he never learned, because she surreptitiously videoed the two of them making 'whoopie goldberg' in her apartment. He said it was just a sexual thing, there were not "feelings" involved. She moved away about a year ago and he was left with just fond memories, he thought.

But then he was in the red light section of an indie video rental place and came across a photo of himself on the cover of DVD, tastefully humping the former neighbor.

Handel told him he had no case, based on the practical problem of not knowing her name. The DVD producer would claim to have signed releases and could claim not to have known the filming was done without his consent. Even if he could find he former neighbor, serve her and get a judgment, what were his damages, and if he did have some, how was he going to collect on a judgment?

At least I think that's what he said. I was too busy fantasizing about the new Lesbian couple that moved in next door. To increase my chances, I'm going to make it a point not to learn their names.

And no, you won't find any photos, grainy 8mm films or videos of me anywhere on this planet. But I did once pose for a still life drawing class at BYU, wearing nothing but walking shoes, corduroy pants, a maple wainscot, white shirt and tie, and a handsome tweed bomber jacket.