Well, it's not really a "book." It's a romance novel. A modern romance novel, designed to harvest new readers from today's 15 to 28 female age group. Gone are the swashbuckling heroes and the 'oh please ravage me again, you beast' leading ladies.
Without giving away any important plot points, here's what a prospective reader needs to know:
The hero is J. Paul Ghetto, a rapper from Bigge Grosse Pointe De Lujo, Michigane. Of course that's not his real name, but I can't say more about that without giving away an important plot point.
The villain is Foxcroft Morgan, computer despot, and evil webmaster, whose greatest desire in life is to to hack into the software of the heroine:
Hannah Julia LeBra. This haughty, proud peacock (peahen) of a woman has a small shop in the Beverly Center, selling hand made leather iPhone holsters. 19 years old, 5'10" tall, 110 pounds, flame red hair down to the small of her back and a front that starts around a corner 38 inches before you see her face.
There is a lot of yadda yadda and she repeatedly makes mad passionate passion at the two men, without actually touching them. Her heart is tossed and turned and her bosom heaves and sighs. And then the action starts!
Her livelihood is threatened, her cat, Puddn' Puss, is abducted and held hostage; her little sister, Francine Rebecca Hodges, nee LeBra, is tied up and stripped and has things pointed at her, but in a non-degrading way, because soap is involved... A lot of other horrible things happen until finally all issues are resolved and Hannah gives it up to J. Paul Ghetto, which everyone knew was going to happen, or they'd feel cheated.
Hints of a sequel made me queasy.
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3 comments:
Romance novels creep me out, but this sounds like a bestseller. After all, apparently all women want the roguishly rude cad who's a total jerk to take them almost against their will. I've got the first part down, but I'm too much of a gentleman for the latter.
Okay, they're usually stronger than me.
Boy those have come on since the days of tearing bodices and throbbing manhoods and smoldering glares, no?
And yet...no, they haven't.
I used to read those when I was about 12 to find the steamy bits and the steamy bits were really more "tepid" than "steamy" once you got there. All panting and emoting and no goddamn action. Bit like a Lifetime movie.
Are you having a book signing?
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