Monday, August 20, 2007

Rant for a Sunny Day

I love a good rant. We all love a good rant. Here's one now!

Rights.

We're all supposed to have some. The American Way of Life is built on the Rights of Free Men. We keep changing the definition of what is American, what is Free and what Men are, but we've never changed the notion that Rights exist and we get to have them.

Which is why silly people think they are accomplishing something when they tell hooligans that they, the hooligans, have no Right to do whatever bit of hooliganism the hooligans are committing. The silly people are correct, but not in any fashion that does them any good.

Because the silly people failed to learn, or understand, that Rights do not exist in a vacuum. Rights only exist when a Power supports them.

For instance, a hooligan has no Right to honk his horn and flash his lights at you when you're going 70 miles an hour in the #1 lane, in a 65 mph zone, because he wants you to move over and let him pass you. The hooligan is TOTALLY without any Right to do that, and you're totally within your Rights to sit there, blocking his way, impeding his improper progress.
But while the hooligan has absolutely no Right to be doing that, he does have the Power to start passing you on your right and then take some shots at you with this little Sat. night special. See the difference between a Right and a Power? Rights are abstracts, but Powers are real.

The State has the Power to enforce your Rights, but in a society where the State's Power is waning, the People lose significant Rights when the State's Power isn't feared enough. The only thing that can save the State, and the Rights of its Citizens, is when good people start taking video of hooligans doing naughty things and putting them on YouTube so the hooligans can see how badly they are behaving.

Getting personally involved is insane. Did you hear about the woman in the SouthEast section of Los Angeles who flashed her headlights and honked at a couple of graffiti artists? They shot her dead. But if she'd just taken video of them and used that video in the most effective manner, she'd still be alive.

So there you have my Rant. I want the Rights of the People fully restored and I want you to help. If you don't have a way of 'filming' people, go out and buy something. Then we'll start a new website with a catchy name, and we'll house the servers on some off shore island so we can't be sued in a US court. People will visit our website to see video of hooligans doing unAmerican things and they'll comment on each video and eventually we'll have the names of the Hooligans, and their addresses and good will triumph over evil, but we have to remember that the ends don't justify the means. Always a very hard task.

As with most of my desires, I want you to start first. I'll be along in a minute.

6 comments:

Nessa said...

I was waiting for you to go first.

katrocket said...

dearest Bert: What a smart and well-composed rant! I really enjoy your writing best when you're in a state of agitation.

I'd just like to say that I know this girl who recently went from "unemployed" to "President and CEO" of a web design company. As luck would have it, she is also "off-shore", and enjoys "filming people in compromising positions".

I'm just sayin', anything is possible.

paperback reader said...

I would like to purchase these videotapes, assuming the people are under 50 and hairless. And have all of their limbs. Possibly even a third leg, if you get my drift.

The Guv'ner said...

The city of New York caught some smug (and rather pig ugly) fellow last year who was flashing young Asian girls on the subway and not just flashing either, he was sitting in the compartment...how can I put it...kneading the dough, while grinning at them.

One such young Asian girl whipped out her camera phone, aimed it strategically, snapped a photo and calmly got off at the next stop and showed it to a policeman. They splashed the picture in the local press and had the guy in 24 hours. Some creepy, pasty-white guy with no eyelashes who worked as a chef.

So you needn't think you INVENTED the concept Mr. Bananas.

Of course, the wanking flasher could have whipped out a 9mm and shot her dead but hey. He didn't. And justice prevailed.

Bert Bananas said...

Kat, I visited your site! I was totally blown away!!!! I'm going to hire you to work on my website.

Guv, I may have pretended that I invented the concept. But then I once implied I invented the Missionary Position. In both instances I knew better.

There was an old Sci-Fi short story which featured people going about their daily business with a 'web-cam' on their heads and everything that all the webcams in the world were viewing was reviewed by a computer that took up an entire building! and it alerted the authorities to "problems" and before you knew it, crime and pornography-for-a-price were wiped out.

T said...

www.Hoolicam.com

Price of the 'Rights' for the name: $2,000,000.00

Price for somewhat stealing the inspiration for the name: Price-less