hug your father if he were naked?
buy me lunch if I weighed 545 pounds?
subscribe to a magazine called Rectum Peppers?
ever tell the Pope he was as nutty as squirrel turds?
sell one of your kidneys for less than you paid for it?
give a sitting (well, standing or laying down, probably) President a BJ?
marry a corpse (your choice of sex) and love, honor and cherish him/her for as long as ye both shall live?
wonder as you wander?
be surprised if I quit now?
The Effable, almost ineffable, Efforts of one Man to Change his Pants.
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Bertram Bananas, Lz.D.
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14 comments:
Uh,,
No, yes,no,maybe,huh?,no, whaa?, yes,yes...
I don't think it's the financial investment I'd fear at lunch if you weighed upwards of five bills, but the time. I imagine that once you get that fat, you've got to spend half your day eating to trump the calories you burn just getting your fat ass to the buffet.
Also, thanks for plugging my magazine.
Yes, but it would only be the chest kind i=of hug, with the butt - ox fully extended away.
I would but I think it would have to be delivery, cause I couldn't afford the lift cause you wouldn't be walkin'.
If it was called "Recked them peppers."
Well, no, because that would mean the Pope was full of nuts and not zany, as I know him to be.
No, I'd have to get something for the things I had taught them.
GW - no. He's just yucky. Clinton maybe, because it wouldn't be sex, right?
Sure, that's a no brainer. I get the insurance money, right?
I always wonder as I wander.
Thank God.
hug - of course
buy - sure (great entertainment value)
subscribe - not anymore, -PAD never answered my letters to the editor
ever tell - why not
sell - doubtful (I'd at least ask for the same amount)
give - only if it were Condeleeeeeza
marry - Cold Ethyl, yes
wonder - no, it makes me run into walls
be surprised - nothing you do surprises me
I'll try almost anything once that isn't life-threatening, but I take exception with the sitting President question. Clinton: sure, I'd smoke his cigar, but Bush can suck it himself.
KAT - Are you saying that since GW didn't end up with the biggest BRAIN...
Kat - there wouldn't be any room for you with Halliburton and Gonzales already there. No worries.
T - it's not the size, it's what you do with it.
As a former lesbian (a has-bian), there was a time when I had no issues with sucking Bush, but those days are long gone.
My apologies in advance, Bert, for the übercolourful commentary.
KAT - trust me, they don't stretch that far, OUCH!
Kudos to Ron Jeremy, -he's the exception.
T - I was talking about his brain, Perv.
KAT - No you weren't, Pervier.
Ha! Touché, mon frère.
HUH?
Am I dead from the waist down for reading that back and forth and thinking, "Hmmm. I never get umlauts in my comments?"
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