Even-Handed Hope remarked today that her mother was aware that today's "holiday" is nothing more than a commercial construct, more designed to fill coffers, than it is to honor "mothers."
Which reminds me, my dad once sent me a Mother's Day card...
But on to today's theme:
First, I had to make my own breakfast. I offered to make some for my wife, but she doesn't like my specialty, tuna on heavily buttered sourdough toast, so she passed.
I had asked her to buy me a one pound See's Candy assortment at the store when she went to get her mother a box of candy, but she says she forgot. So now I don't have anything to give her, expect my eternal love and undying devotion, but I can tell it's not enough... I even reminded her that I would gladly lay down my life for her, but even that offer was received with a disdainful sniff from her patrician nostrils.
And I was hoping to take her to dinner, put some alcohol into her system, thus liberating her libido from ordinary civilized constraint, so that I could spectacularly remind her how she got to be a mother...
But it isn't to be. Her brother, a darling chap, has made a surprise visit. He'll be staying here. So she's going to fix dinner, and probably not have any alcohol. Which means her libido will remain civilized.
Oh Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?!
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13 comments:
Hmmm...I thought it was my daughter who understood the artificiality of the holiday, thereby relieving herself of the necessity of buying a present for anybody. You'd love this kid!
Never knew anybody before you who thought of it as a good day to get laid.
Apologies! It was your daughter! And you obviously raised a thoughtful, insightful child.
Regarding this being a good day to get laid, any honest male will tell you there is no bad day to get laid.
Ohhh... Bert... making your wife buy her own box 'o chocolates. Forgetting special holidays, commercial or no, isn't going to endear a man to his mate.
Maybe you can get her something ro Father' Day.. or the next one's July 4.
I don't "forget" special holidays, I ignore them. There is a difference. And if my wife loved me any more I'd have to be canonized. And the feeling is mutual, but like Teri Garr says it in Young Frankenstein.
Were I married, I would agree that my Father's Day gift would be the ability to purchase nothing for her for Mother's Day, and vice versa.
It is in the negotiations for things like this where the marriage plans break down. "$20k for a wedding? We could buy three skee ball machines for that much! How cool would that be? Where are you going?"
You did not make an effort for het on MD?! She is not going to sleep with you, no matter how much alcohol she pours down her throat!
Perhaps, once she got a whiff of NO present, she invited her brother over for dinner. Thwarted!
It's al You You You!!
;-)))
PaulaBxx
Damn, I might as well have called you to go play golf, -but then neither one of us would have gotten lucky.
Besides, wasn't she your wife and not your mom? The boys must have let her (and you) down. -Maybe you taught them to be just like you, which is not a good thing on that day.
The boys did not let her down. Especially Roby. He wrote and played two songs, which he .wav'd and sent to her. He sounded inebriated, but sincere...
I slept most of the afternoon away, so I was kind of glad you didn't call, Big T.
Mothers Day is a hoax and over the years I have patiently converted Liz to this very same opinion. Same for Father's Day. And Christmas and birthdays. We get what we want, when we want; in other words, life is on our terms, not the Chamber of Commerce's terms.
And her terms are a 30-year mortgage of disappointment and broken hopes? Because I haven't been able to sell anyone on that...
"Disappointment and Broken Hopes"?
Your labeling needs help. She has a 30 year mortgage of "as yet unmet expectations and fervent desires" and I have her convinced it's any day now.
If you put the glass on a high shelf and then lay on the floor, you can't even see if there's anything in it, much less how full it might be.
Now THAT is salespersonship! I think that's why it doesn't work - I'm spinning like Jimmy Carter, when the world wants a Reagan-esque spin. What no one wants: the truth.
Truth
Scientists look for it. But none of us looks in a mirror with the goal of finding Truth.
Which is Better: Truth or Happiness?
I'm going to answer truth here, just to throw your stats off. That, or I vacillate a lot.
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