The above is straight from Drudge. I didn't click on the link because no way was the reality of the story going to come close to what my imagination was dealing with...or with which my imagination was now dealing.
I've never met a Designer Vagina. I don't think anyone has even offered to introduce me to one... you know, as in, 'hey, my sister is back in town and she brought a friend, with a designer vagina. Wanna meet them?'
I did once meet a vagina with training wheels. But that was okay, because my penis also had a training wheel.
First on the imagination block was a tasteful racing stripe. Then custom pipes. then fat slicks on the rear end...
Then I switched allusions and thought about electronic enhancements, something like upgrading the software so the the hardware had a better time... and HighDef audio.
Speaking of which, Heart was on Video1 rock honors. Followed by Genesis. I danced and held up my right arm and waved it back and forth, thus cementing my place in the world of Rock 'n Roll.
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And here I've been dealing with cheap bush-league knockoffs like a sucker. I feel cheated, which is a nice change from my usual feeling of being cheated on.
Hey Bert. I regard you as a well-camoflagued thinker. Deal with it. To support my hypothesis, I may have uncovered some actual science behind laztheism. No help from you, don't worry. Seems this chap has come on this POV without even understanding the philosophy. See what you think:
http://www.thomhartmann.com/conversation.shtml
Now. About this Designa Vagina gal. Reminds me of this bit of post-pubescent prose, pulled out of some wanna be blogger's...whatever:
New! Vagina Flashlight!
Tired of playing a piano when what you really need is a gun?
Introducing the Vagina Flashlight!
Wondering where your harmonica went? Need an extra 42 cents for that Latte? Now with the VF, quickly locate those missing rings, markers, gum, and bottlecaps. Never lose a dental bridge again. Safe for either sex, the Vagina Flashlight is the perfect answer for men and women alike. No more wondering if your mule shorted you! Qickly locate the source of exciting new smells! Utilize all that extra storage and still stay organized! You'll wonder how you got along without it. No more bats on the roof of YOUR favorite cave! Washable and reusable, the VF comes with an audio signal and secure harness for extended use. You'll rejoice when you finally find your lost comb, spinner bait, or tv remote. Dad will appreciate finding his cordless screwdriver hanging mysteriously back in its recharger after all this time! Granny will love finding her old eggbeater, and little brother or sis will love you for life when you locate those lost GI Joe helmets, lego blocks, or Barbie shoes. Requires 4 AA batteries. (Not included.) Available in pink. Call for immediate delivery.
Hey, don't ask me. I just find the stuff.
A Designer Penis is something my wife uses when I'm outta town.
A Designer Vagina is something I wear instead of a belt buckle when I go to the Lesbian Bar across town, -just to get some attention and get their eyes looking down there.
Wounded, I read the Thom Hartmann, Thom Hartmann thing. It was kind of entertaining. But I immediately figured out he was trying to get from his Point A to his Point B.
Laztheists may or may not have a Point A, but if we did, we wouldn't be so crude as to mention it.
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