Dummy

When I was in high school, and a Mormon, I didn't have sex. Well, not with another person, any way... Later, when I got back from my Mission, I learned that my high school main squeeze, Paul B, but not the Paula B who sometimes reads this blog, was GIVING IT AWAY while I was gone. I could have had me some of that!! Dummy...

I played Bridge in college. It was fun. And the first time you were the dummy you could start eating your pie. See, the four of us, me, my girlfriend and two of her roommates, would each buy a pie. And you could eat on your pie when you were the dummy. So there was a period, before that first marriage, that I was one fat dummy.

In 1981 I was "dating" a young lady from the office. She found someone "better" and dumped me. It was the second most grevious dump in my life. So I quit that job and didn't leave my apartment until February of 1982. I didn't even go home for Xmas. I had an answering service and I'd call it every day, just to hear another voice, even though the message was always the same, "You have no messages." I already knew that because I'd never been away from the phone. I didn't even take out the garbage for four months. When the manager would come to collect the rent, I'd just shove the check under the door. I'd spend the day reading the bible, backwards, and playing Pac-Man; I could go around and around, piling up higher and higher scores. When I finally went out to check my mail, there was a note from the mailman instructing me to come to the post office, and to bring a truck. I was dumber than being a dummy.

But I'm mostly okay now. And I still like me some pie.