This lovely vision of American elegance was photographed in Glendale, CA.
What's going on in the owner's mind? Does he or she play golf? If not, what does he or she think of golfers?
Are you aware that there has NEVER been a massacre on a golf course in America? And no, you can't count Tiger's first appearance at the Masters, when he won by 12 strokes. Although how this doesn't qualify as a massacre is certainly an argument you might eventually win.
Ted Bundy didn't play golf. Nor did Ed Gein, David Berkowitz, Dennis Rader, Jeffrey Dahmer, or John Wayne Gacy. No serial killer, ever, has been a golfer. And this is definitely not a coincidence.
By "golfer" I mean someone who has an established handicap, either with a club or within his community of golfers. This means that the golfer has applied himself to the game, both playing it and knowing it's rules. (An annotated Rules of Golf is thicker than the Bible!) You can't become a committed golfer without a modicum of patience and control. I've known some club and tantrum throwers but even they have enough commitment to rules and procedures not be the kind of person to "go Cho" and write a "rantifesto."
The inescapable conclusions are two:
1. Teach kids to play golf and build more golf courses;
2. Any non-golfer, including any you see in a mirror, are suspect and must be watched constantly.
How a non-golfer could be allowed to purchase firearms or ammunition is beyond me. No male should be allowed to breed until he's broken bogey golf. This one "rule," if implemented, would cure ALL the world's problems. There isn't a catastrophe, calamity, problem, concern, situation,worry, fret or impasse that enforcing this rule wouldn't cure.
Please, on my Noble Peace Prize, I want my name spelled Bertram 'Bertsky' Bananas. Thank you.
This contribution to peace and sanity is brought to you by Tiger Woods, Inc., The First Tee Foundation, LLC, and the, Bert Bananas Tour Golf Shoe Laces, Corp., and Chiquita Bananas, TPBTT. (The Power Behind The Throne)
3 comments:
You're right!
There have been some golf balls I've tried to murder, but NEVER any humans.
My 'cap is less than 9, so I must be good stock for a fellow female golfer. ("So Annika, what's going on?")
One other note: I wonder what's INSIDE the van... -a murderer?
Bertram "Bertsky" Bananas...I hope that you will give credit to me (Grammie) for your middle name when you receive your prize.
: )
This is eerie...I just posted a very similar comment on your comment on my blog. At the risk of repeating myself, no one wants to kill anyone once they've known the sweet caress of a pair of sensible non-pleated golf slacks. How else to explain the transition of bunkers from places with hills where battles were fought to part of a serene, pastoral, verdant setting?
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