My wife is currently watching some type of Vagina Monologues presentation. As I sit and type, my back is to the TV, so I can only hear these various women find different things to say about their vaginas. Apparently the American Female has spent a lot of time in denial with regard to their vaginas.
And so we come to The Penis Diatribes. Or as they are called in East LA, Chupame la verga, chulita.
There will never be an audience who would pay to hear what a penis has to say. Why on earth did people pay money to hear women talk about their vaginas? I certainly never figured it out. Men would certainly never get near them if they, the vaginas, could talk.
Okay, apparently, from what I'm hearing behind, the majority of women don't like their vaginas! Their vaginas have been the cause of pain and rejection! Well, that wasn't the case on my watch! Another reason why my 300 million daily fellow travelers should have had more to say about how this world is run.
What kind of a world is this where there are so many women who don't delight in their vaginas.
Richard Condon & Carrie Fisher each wrote a book in praise of the vagina; he wrote The Vertical Smile and she wrote Surrender The Pink. More people should have read them.
I heard there's going to be a new show on cable, The Penis Whisperer
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
There actually is a popular "guy version" of the Vagina Monologues that people pay to see: Puppetry of the Penis, a comedy cabaret performed by a couple of Australian guys. I saw it here in Toronto - it's mostly a bunch of silly dick tricks, but it was quite funny.
I wouldn't see that for fear that it'd make me gay.
However, I believe very strongly in continuing the culture of shame foisted upon women and their goods, because it makes them vulnerable to my advances. If you think you're unlovable, and a guy offers three to four seconds of love in the back of his '87 Mercury Cougar, well, then, that's not so bad, right? It's a fleeting respite from the emptiness and pain that make up the two-sided coin of your life.
I've got a PowerPoint presentation that ends with that. It's very convincing.
My vagina and I have been on good terms most of our relationship. Sure there were a few times where things could have been better, but no relationship is perfect.
I don't think penises need to do much more speaking than they already do. They certainly know how to stand up for themselves.
Men can never get away with denying they're turned on when they're not, or not turned on when they are. Women can.
Could this be the fundamental reason for the difference between the sexes?
"Could this be the fundamental reason for the difference between the sexes?"
No, this is the reason men look so animal-istic (and stupid), while women look cool, calm and just a plain bitch (in men's eyes), when the opportunity arises.
Vagina monologues make my penis somewhat turned off, -if not very insecure...-but that may be their EXACT purpose anyway. Hmmm...
Post a Comment