Oh, the ignominy!

Ignominy has smashed its way into my life, upsetting two apple carts, a watermelon wagon and several fruit baskets.

Plus I think I have a pimple that bothers me when I sit down.

The ignominy of it all is that the Disney Company, with whom I have a contract to paint address numbers on the curbs of houses on movie sets, has discovered that in a fit of aggravated revenge, Paula Bunker has put a picture of me, naked from the toes up, on the internet. At first I thought it was funny, because the camera's perspective makes me look, you know, ...nice. I've been hearing from people with whom I'd totally lost contact years ago!

But then some of the honchos at the Disney company were contacted by a fundamentalist group of morality freaks who were demanding that Disney contract with me be severed. At first, because there is no morality clause in my contract, they simply refused these entreaties because the liquidated damages clause would have allowed me to play golf every day for two years! But then, because the pressure was building, the Disney cabal of totally immoral attorneys came up a way out. They've scheduled me for work on Wednesday, golf day with Big T and the gang. It was ALWAYS understood that I wouldn't have to work on Wednesdays!

So they have me over a barrel. No way do I dare let Big T and the gang down! And all because of a "little" picture on the internet. What kind of a world has this become, where closeted sexual freaks need to impose their artificial values on a helpless world?