Now remember: I speak to you, mostly, from across a vast divide of decades; I've seen more of the same things you see, heard more of the same sounds you hear and have been experiencing some of the things you experience for years and years longer. Okay, sure, I've never been drunk and haven't killed anyone, but don't think I have scratched these off my life's list of things to do...
But this post focuses on one theme: Women's fashions.
As a heterosexual male I am very aware of women. I like women. (There is a common Sci-Fi concept where humans meet sentient races with sexual 'halves,' with one 'half' being non-intelligent. Either the women are just brood mares or the men are just penises who just sit around eating and pooping when not needed. Do I think the human race would be better off this way? Laztheists don't play the 'what if...?" game.) I have an opinion about how women should 'look.'
Based on this opinion, I would like a rule established, to be a fashion designer, you must be:
1. Male
2. Over 40
3. Heterosexual
4. Married, with kids
5. A heavy beer drinker
6. A better than bogey golfer
7. Have a subscription to Playboy
Then once a year, in the late Fall, the world's 'registered' fashion designer would get together at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for a week of, among things, designing what women will wear for the upcoming year.
The world would be a better place.
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7 comments:
And what would you care to design for us, Bert? Frontless shirts for those with perky taught boobs, and buttless pants for those with perky taught butts?
What about for the rest of us without perky's? turtlenecks and a-line skirts.. I know.
As for me, I'll stick with jeans and t-shirts, thanks.
C'mon, Jana! You think the wives of these hypothetical fashion designers are going to let them get away with stuff like frontless tops and backless bottoms?
My guys are practical, not silly. Décolletage will obviously be a factor, but Sandra Bullock and that girl Big T says doesn't have knockers, either, will still have choices that will highlight what they do have.
The idea is to get away from the 'impractical' crap that you see on high fashion runways, including women who are 5'10" and weigh 100 pounds.
Bert, I am obviously whom you are referring to and I graciously accept the responsibility of making women look better throughout the world.
-You will (all) thank me later...
P.S. I once ran into Pia Zadora at the Riviera Hotel/Casino in Vegas and she had to have one of the most kick-ass bodies on earth. I don't imagine she could still look that good twenty-five years later, but I would love to have any woman with her 'then-proportions' to step-up as my new model of tomorrow. 5'0", 34-24-34. Humma, humma, humma...
Most of Pia's weight were in her cheeks. The facial ones.
And I think we are dating ourselves with the Pia Zadora mentions.
I always loved her name... Pia Zadora...
I preferred Mercedes Reuhl as far as names go.
And I think the best argument against straight men designing fashion is looking at straight men. Honestly, I can see like three different colors. "That's a weird looking orange." "That's probably because it's green."
I just like the argument that straight men can't do any real damage to how women look and it'll cost less.
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