Thursday, January 17, 2008

When 'throw away' lines come back to haunt you.

My fertile mind comes up, spontaneously, with comments that when I say or type them are the first time I'm seeing them. Since I'm me and not someone else, I use my own personal standards by which to judge them, and usually find them hugely entertaining. I've become, to probably quote El Pistolero, one of my biggest fans.

The other day I spontaneously combusted this sentence: "I drink beer and piss ethanol." Succinct, pithy, etc., I loved it and held onto to it for way longer than my usual attention span, and then released it back into the wild. (Like many males, I practice 'catch & release.')

But now it's haunting me.

See, I'm beginning to believe that I was inspired by forces beyond my understanding to come up with that sentence (could a mortal man have otherwise created it?) because it was meant to be a sign post to a new and vibrant future for mankind. And what's good for mankind is often good for womankind! So, see, potentially no losers! (or as they used to say on AOL's Bookshelf, no gay loosers...)

Viewed objectively and scientifically, human excrement, both liquid and solid, and the occasionally uncomfortable semi-solid, just has to be an organic wonderland. And right now it's going to waste (to coin a phrase).

But what if, literally, when I drank beer, or any other H2O based liquid, my piss did turn into ethanol? Oh, sure not at the "tap" but somewhere further down stream? Oh wonderous day!
And the same for the other "tap" and its products. Oh odorous day!

Sure, you're all squeamish and gagging, but the organics are there, ripe for the harvest! Our own excrement could make us energy independent. We could figuratively poop on the Terrorists and win the day!

So next time you're pooping or peeing, give a thought to what a waste it is, okay?

3 comments:

The Guv'ner said...

All my bowel and bladdery bits just clenched in horror. I think they're on a protest strike now.

Nessa said...

We scoop ours out and spray it on the vegetable fields.

paperback reader said...

Do what I do: stop believing in any higher power, because you're too awesome to have anything awesomer out there, and then you can credit yourself for all your inspirations, scatological or otherwise.