Jokingly, all seriousness aside, what are you going to do about the cost of Spackle?
My wife asked me this this morning, after she pushed my head through some, fortunately, thin drywall, when I confessed that I'd forgotten that it was our wedding anniversary.
At the emergency room I passed the drywall dust in my hair off as dandruff, and the three inch laceration as the result of the "itch of psoriasis. The nurse-practitioner winked at my wife and said, "yeah, we see a lot of that on anniversaries."
Yep, been married now 24 years. We got married exactly six months to the day after we met. We'd spoken on the phone a couple of times (she ran a sex chat phone line) and I really liked the way she could describe making love at the edge of a cliff, and then making me believe we'd fallen off. What a rush!
I pulled up in my 1979 Nissan 280z (I used to be a cliché [from the french, to tickle a clit]) and she was standing out in front of her office. She was a total vision in a pumpkin colored blouse and multi-colored lederhosen (from the Canadian, to straighten a hose).
I was only expecting lunch, but she coyly let it drop that she'd taken the rest of the day off, and if I had $200 in cash, she would take me to her apartment and do things to me that I didn't even know could be done. Droolingly I agreed and she gave me direction to her apartment and when we got there, she gave me a pedicure. Who knew!!
Later my car would be towed for parking in a handicap zone under construction. But it didn't matter, I was in love... And to this day, she is still ledering my hosen.
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7 comments:
This story has Hallmark Movie written all over it. I'm choking up here.
This is the sweetest tribute to love I've ever heard, you old softy (in the heart - I'm assuming.)
Congrats on tricking her into sticking around for 24 years. I bet every day is an "Ocean's Eleven"-style series of madcap plans to confuse and impress her so that she doesn't realize how unlovable the average dude is.
Pistols stole my line. Much like he stole my faith in mankind.
I will now use the word "cliché" everyday until forever. Great post, and happy new year, Bert!
Sounds like a match made in heaven. Happy anniversary.
Wow, you are one romantic SOB, Bert Bananas.
One question though, why would Mrs. Bananas take you to her apartment and gift you with a man who fondles children?
Oh wait...pediCURE.
Incidentally you have a tear in your hosen.
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