Why the comma, you ask? Sure, you're familiar with the concept of people going green, but there is a new surge building, that when it crests will forever change the landscape of the landscape. So in addition to people going green, people will start going, green.
Yep, within your lifetime it will come to pass that when a person dies, once the paperwork is done, the body will be wrapped up in a shroud (NFL shrouds will be popular) and taken to a dump or an approved 'recycling' center, where the shroud will be washed, ironed and resold. Humans will finally be free of the conceit that a dead human body is worthy of attention beyond the need to dispose of it.
Wakes and funerals will go the way of the Do-do, and Rememberceptions will become the rage, elaborately catered and themed. Funeral homes will be sold to drug rehab and unwed mothers businesses and ten years after the last body is buried in a cemetary, the land will be auctioned off for 'public use' purposes. (I was once auctioned off for pubic use purposes, and I still have the video...)
We'll all be a lot more healthy, mentally and the economy will benefit enormously, once we get over the fixation we have on spending vast sums of money on empty, useless husks.
I expect that many of you will now add a codicil to your Wills, the soon to be famous "Green Me" instruction. You'll soon be able to download it from LegalZoom.
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7 comments:
I wonder what color the bin will be that you place outside your house for "departed loved ones"?
I'm going to get buried in a giant aerosol can because I hate the environment.
I want everyone to have a smoke and through their lit matches on my gasoline drenched corpse.
Throw would be better than through.
I think combining cremation with recreation is the way to go. Maybe put me under the barbecue to fuel your sausages. Then a little bit of me will be with you forever.
Wait, no wailing and gnashing of teeth and ripping your clothes? I have been waiting for years to wear sackcloth and ashes and have been saving to pay the professional mourners.
Mrs. LK, one 'rends' one's clothing and then puts on the sackcloth and ashes. It's an art form and I suppose we should allow some people to preserve this art form. But only in New Orleans, marching in front of the jazz band...
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