Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Hillary Topless on new poles!

Which is what I THOUGHT! the headline said. And my mind reeled as I wondered if anyone would give her any money, or would her feelings get hurt again. And I wondered if she was really spry enough to give us a good pole dance. An imagination is not always a good thing, because I was breaking out in a cold sweat and feeling a wee bit nauseous...

But then I reread it, reading for comprehension this time, and the headline turned out to be Hillary Topples in new polls. The polls that showed her losing to JFO (John Fitzgerald Obama) in New Hampshire.

You know why the polls were wrong? Me either. But here's what I tell pollsters who call me to ask my opinion about why the polls were wrong: It was the Goody Two Shoes syndrome.

See, the Goody Two Shoes people don't want anyone, even pollsters, to think ill of them. So when this vast Goody Two Shoes crowd was sampled, that all said they were voting for JFO, so as to be thought of as progressive and liberated. But they aren't!

When they were within the privacy of the voting booth they voted with their prejudice and shot the brother down.

How about having topless shots of the candidates on the ballot? That might even things out for Obama...

8 comments:

The Guv'ner said...

That is just so wrong in so many ways, B. No one should have to envisage Hillary topless on anything although topless swinging round a pole might get her some sympathy votes I guess.

I actually thought of Pistols topless on a pole when I read that but then thought "Phew! He only has one 'L' in his name."

Nessa said...

They have to shave their heads?

paperback reader said...

I don't ever dance on poles, Guv, but thanks for reminding me that I have the worst ability to hide my alter ego name ever.

But Bert, you're absolutely right that polls show what people think others would like them to do, not what they actually will do. For example, I told a pollster once that I enjoyed wearing pants around the house.

The Guv'ner said...

Oh hush Pistols. We all know your real name is STUDMUFFIN!

Anonymous said...

I bet Bill and Hillary have a pole in their house. I imagine they like to keep it fresh. Besides, Bill needs the exercise for his heart now.

Leonesse said...

Ewww. nasty thought. eww eww eww.

katrocket said...

I can see how anyone could make that mistake, Bert. I mean, Hillary is just so free with her sexuality.

Jana said...

The choice: The Power Lesbian in Sensible Shoes....or Hillary.