I'm sure it will come as no surprise that Laztheism, as practiced by the Missouri Synod of Laztheists of the Northern Hemisphere-But Not Alaska (MSLNHBNA), condones marriage between any two people who can sign their names, or make a mark or blink once for yes and twice for no.
Furthermore, the MSLNHBNA condones marriage between any number of people, but only up to a single digit total. Meaning a maximum of 9. This means that 1 person can marry himself. It also means 0 people could marry, but it would have to be in another dimension, per the 9 sacred principles of the String Theory. If Ghawd (who may or may not exist; the MSLNHBNA is prohibited from exploring this issue) wanted more than 9 people to be married together at one time, he would have had us count in hexidecimal.
And so the MSLNHBNA congratulates the California Supreme Court on its landmark decision to fatten the coffers of wedding planners, cruise ships and divorce attorneys. And to those wackos (Yes, wackos! And you know who you are by the pin-wheeling eyes and spittle flying out from under your noses that you see when you look in a mirror) who are now totally flying off your religious handles (Breaker-Breaker, this is Voice of the Lord, can I get a come back?) I hope you all choke on your piety. Piety in the face...
Why on Earth would Ghawd care if gays marry? If it didn't get to Him that 20 million Soviet citizens were exterminated between 1918 & 1946, if it doesn't bother him that 1,200 Congolese men, women & children die seven days a week (dating back to -you have to start somewhere - Patrice Lumumba's assassination in 1961 to the present -- do the math!), and I can go on and on and on and finally even get to all that horrible suffering caused by Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans (Oh the Humanity!!). If ghawd was testing you then, let Him test you again, ya big babies!
Initial forecasts are that the two sides to the issue will spend 20 million dollars in California between now and the November election, for and against the ballot initiative that will add 14 words to the California Constitution, making marriage an act permissible only to one man and one woman. It's going to be entertaining.
You think any of the Presidential hopefuls will offer an opinion?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I think they'll all offer an opinion and then do nothing about it.
I don't understand why anyone cares about this. Would you rather the gays have as much sex with as many people as possible?
Ridiculous.
I take the Lazthiest stance on this issue. Does it affect society in a negative fashion? Then who the hell cares.
Terrific post, Bert.
It's been 3 years since gay marriage was leagalized here and no one bats an eyelash now. I think it's because the weddings are just so damn fabulous.
Post a Comment