Every year it's the same old Valentine's Day massacre, but without the machine gunning. But there is rattling off at the mouth... But the high speed in no way implies negativity. It's just that we like to get it over with quickly.
I will totally ignore the concept and practice of buying my wife a Valentine's Day product. Millions of dollars of advertising will be completely wasted on me.
My wife will let the day pass without comment, until after dinner, when she will hand me a Valentine's Day card, in an envelope. On the envelope will be my pet name... you know, something very youthful sounding, but yet kind of degenerate.
I will pretend surprise. I'll open it and read the message. (It's been the same card for, what?... maybe seven, eight years now.) I'll thank her for this wonderful expression of her love and suggest that an incredibly complicated and sordid love making technique would have worked just as well. She won't respond to this witticism (again) and then I'll say that I didn't get her anything for Valentine's Day because I won't be dictated to by commercial interests and that my love for her on Valentine's Day is the same as it is on every other day of the year, completely consuming of my very being.
Then she'll say, "Here, I got you this." She'll hand me a package, which I'll open and then hand her back the gee-gaw that she bought for herself. It used to be jewelry, but these last few years it's been socks or gloves.
Who says you have to be romantic to have romance in your life?
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2 comments:
You might find this hard to believe, the romantic that I am and all, but I think Valentine's Day is ridiculous too.
Mrs. Bananas has got it goin' on. She's found a system that works for her, and she sticks to it.
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