Michelle Wie and the Man in the Iron Mask

Tiger Woods marries a pretty girl from the Swedish National Bikini Team and everyone congratulates hm. "Well done," we men all say, drooling over the vision of her serving him a tall Swedish lager. (What do Swedes drink for fun?)

But who will marry Michelle Wie? She could marry a bimbo boy, but the odds are sheMawon't. That way lies madness. If she falls for simple cute, what does she do when a cuter boy toy comes along up? Maybe she'll collect them? But this is not a hobby for the ages.

Nope, if she is sane, she will marry a man of substance. But whom, among we men of substance, will have the moxie to marry her? And don't kid yourself, she'll have to marry a golfer. At least for the second marriage. Just ask Andre Agassi or Bruce Springsteen. They married for looks and then wound up with second wives who were in their respective industries. Andre couldn't make it with Brook Shields and Bruce couldn't make with the tasty morsel he first married.

But good golfers are competitive. No sane male golfer will marry a woman who gives him three a side and still beats him like a Buddhist gong at Christmas.

So who can she marry? Let me think about it and I'll get back to you. If you have any thoughts on the subject, feel free to chime in.