Is that Roscoe loaded or are you just aimin' to please?

Dreams are one way to experience realities that haven’t yet occurred. But sometimes when we wake up, we hope the reality we’ve just ‘dreamed’ doesn’t ever occur. I haven’t decided whether last night’s dream needs, or ought, to occur. I’m genuinely conflicted.

The dream started with me at my local polling place. The voting machine screen was fuzzy. For some reason I was thinking to myself that the voting machine was acting like a cell phone with a bad connection. I was trying to review the votes I’d cast, but I couldn’t read anything. I was embarrassed at how long I was taking in the booth so I just hoped for the best and hit the button to record my vote.

Next thing I knew I was watching TV. The Republican candidate, whom I didn’t recognize, what with the fake glasses, big nose & bushy eyebrows disguise, was conceding the election and congratulating Barak Obama on his history-making win. And then a ‘talking head’ interrupted to say that they were switching to President-Elect Obama’s headquarters.

Barak Obama was in mid-speech as he came on the screen. He was saying something like, “… will help the country come together if everyone calls me Roscoe. That’s right, from now on, I want to be known as Roscoe Obama. Many of you will recall that a “roscoe” is a slang word for pistol. And what’s a pistol good for? Well, I’m good for all that, too.”

There was more, but now the TV was acting like my cell phone with that bad connection routine; I was only hearing every fourth or fifth word. And then my wife came into the room and asked me if she should start calling me Roscoe Bananas, because if ever there were a ‘pistol’ it was me. I blushed and she came up to me and chuckled me under the chin.

I turned back to the TV and there was a commercial on for string cheese bikinis. But I was too busy thinking about a President of the United States named Roscoe to really appreciate the product placement.

I may or may not have awakened from this dream….