Brought to you by the First Day of the Rest of your Life, now on sale at Kohl's.
Best President to listen to no one while keeping his fingers crossed that God would make everything work out okay: Abraham Lincoln. (Sorry, that was a trick question that relied on you thinking that I meant "Best Of..." for things that happened this year.) During the first half of the Civil War, the NY Times/CNN Polls consistently showed that over 63% of the Free State civilians wanted Abe to cancel the war and pull out of the South. This doesn't really compare with the Iraq quaqmire, but it does go to show that the American People can be short sided. After all, what could possibly happen if the Mid-East is given over to Fundamentalist Al-Wackos who would rather see you and your kids lying dead in your drive way than subscribe to Penthouse magazine.
Best Mono-manical Woman to want to run the country: Cindy Sheehan. Yeah, you thought I was going to say Hillary Clinton. But I think more than power, she'd rather have money. And who can fault her for that? But Cindy, now there's a true fruitcake who could give the Al-Wack 'freedom fighters' lessons in spite & venom.
Best Price Gouge calmly swallowed by a Consuming Public: The sale of electrical power. You thought I was going to say gasoline, right? But that's just the market place doing what market places do, find the highest level the public will pay. But when it comes to electrical power, the purveyors are just out and out incinerating the public and then hosing off the ashes and picking up the lose change that was in our pockets. The 'potential' to create electrical power is everywhere: wind, rivers, the tides, the sun, thermal sources, renewable consumables and fusion. We should be phasing out the old sources, like coal, natural gas, oil and nuclear fission. Electricty out to be less than 5% of the typical family's budget. But we just sit back and let ourselves be ripped.
Best Celebrity Vagina: The votes are still being counted. As a sidebar, and not that I'm at all interested, but how come no wanna be male stars are getting their piggly-wigglies photographed? Where's the justice?
Best Reason to Live: this one is a tie amongst many, many reasons. My own personal favorite: How will Michael Jackson die? And will it be an open-casket funeral?
What's a couple of your favorite reasons for staying alive?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'd like to know if MJ's children are biologically his. If so, how did he manage it and if not, whose?
And I'd like to see if I'm right and Kat will kick the Tom to the curb within two years and hit him over the head with the stupid pan.
And I'd like to see a picture of Paris Hilton if and when she makes it to 40.
I'm into the important stuff.
outliving you!
Andrew, remember what Homer Simpson said about your particular desire?
it's every parent's dream to outlive their children.
Post a Comment