Nope, I refer to the FACT those plucky people who manufacturer and market Downy fabric softener are trying to lead America out of our economic doldrums by giving us not only clothing that is soft, but has fragrance!
While many of the rest of us were slouched in a comfy TV lounger watching Family Guy (oh sure, like I'm the only one...) some movers and shakers within the Downy commercial kingdom were busting their humps to find some way to stop America's slide into advanced mediocrity and push us back up the slope to a new era of USA-ian hegemony, or as those in the world dominance industry call it, Pax Americana.
What I found shocking is that the powers-that-be revealed the identities of their "Designers."
What were they thinking? Downy put their names and photos on a website for all the power-hungry foment-mongers of the world to see. And for the rest of us to envy... C'mon, admit it, you wish you'd come up with Turquoise Frost. But none of this would matter if The U.S. of A. had not lost that gumption that took us to the pinnacle of our panache, back in the olden days (whenever that was...).
Our "olden days" could be said to be any time after the Civil War up to Desert Storm, with the slice 'o history that covers the last three years of the Viet-None war excised.
Like that 20 year period following Custer's Last Stand at the Little Big Horn... (Had Custer chosen the Big Big Horn to make his stand, the world would be a whole different place.)
Anyway, after Custer and his 200 men died, along with most of Major Reno's men, at the Middle Big Horn, the citizens of the USA were incensed! INCENSED, I tell you! America wasn't taking that slight sitting down, no sir! The citizenry, with hardly a quibble, funded 20 years, TWENTY YEARS!, of prairie war making. That's how long it took for the US Army to corral all those wild Indians.
How far is it to your nearest Indian casino? I only go to buy fireworks...
2 comments:
Unfortunately, I spilled Downy softener on my junk in 1987 and have been unable to maintain stiffness ever since.
Sure, my life's ruined, but that is one hell of a product.
A man named Khary made a fragrance called Pink Opal? Hmmmm...
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