Or, Things my Mother Never Taught Me . . .
(I made up 2½ of these. Can you figure out which one I tinkered with and which two I made up?)
99 % of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
½ the people you know are below average.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
On the other hand, you have different fingers...
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Culture is evolution's way of keeping us in the herd.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Every one has a photographic memory. Most of us just don't have enough film.
If you get scared half to death twice, you die.
Beer is evolution's version of Johnnie Applesperm.
Cheating to get ahead in life is like making your horn louder to compensate for bad brakes.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them.
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7 comments:
My guess is you made up the following:
"Beer is evolution's version of Johnnie Applesperm."
"Culture is evolution's way of keeping us in the herd."
I think you tinkered with:
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap."
I think the one about counting fingers was yours, also the beer one quoted above. The finger one because I can't make sense of it and the beer one because it sounds like you.
I think you made up the beer one, too.
And I think you also made up the 1/2 below average one.
I think you tinkered with the lawyer one.
Gaby was right about the two I made up. So, Ms. Nibbles, it means you got just one right.
You were both wrong about the one I tinkered with. it was the Cheating to get ahead one...
So neither of you wins the Mercedes Benz S500 Sedan. Not that anyone has much use for a 1977 Mercedes Benz S500 sedan with no motor...
Even-Handed Hope, I forgot to include you in the list of non-winners of the motorless car. I'm about to go to your blog now. I'm hoping there's a new post!
I guess you went and it wasn't the usual carefree, breezy insouciance you have come to expect. Sometimes life hits me in the face and I get a little serious.
At least I'm not trying to convert the laztheists to some form of monotheistic dogma or other. I'll post tomorrow that my mother is doing better. I just got in from my daily visit.
My mother is 96 and is both breezy and insouciant. When life hits you in the face with reality, make lemonade.....
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