I grew up very sheltered. I was about 10 years old before I learned about Black people. And I swear on my grandfathers' (both of them) peyos that I didn't know diddly about Jews or Judaism until I read Leon Uris' "Exodus." Prior to that I knew Jews only in the biblical sense. Well, no, not in the 'biblical sense' but from the mention of them in the bible. After "Exodus" I went on to read all Leon Uris' other Jewish works. And then Herman Wouk. (Herbie Bookbinder, let's go get a beer! Asher Lev, where are you?)
In summation, for a goy, I know a lot more about Jews and Judaism than most goyim. And part of loving Jews is loving their humor. Here is a remake of a classic...
The year is 2012 and the United States of America has just elected the first woman President. And it's a double whammy: She's also the first Jewish president, Susan Goldfarb.
President-Elect Goldfarb calls up her mother right after election results are confirmed and says, "So, Mom, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
Mom whines into the phone, "I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my gout is acting up again."
President-Elect Goldfarb responds with, "Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send a limousine to the house, it'll take you to the airport where Air Force One will pick you up. After the festivities, we'll fly you back and the limo will be there to take you home. Easy as pie, Mom."
But mom isn't giving in that easy. "I don't know, Susan, dear. Everybody will be all fancy-schmantzy, what on earth would I wear?"
"Oh Mom" replies Susan, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made for you by the best designer in New York."
"Oh, but Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-Elect is ready for that one, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, kosher all the way. C'mon Mom, I really want you to be there."
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 21, 2013 President-Elect Susan Goldfarb is sworn in as President of the United States of America. In the front row sits the new president's mother, who leans over to a senator sitting next to her. "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes, of course.
Says Mom proudly, "Her brother is a doctor!"
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2 comments:
You don't have to be Jewish to have a mother like that. No matter what I may be doing or what I may have achieved, my mother always wants to know why I can't be bothered to dust my livingroom.
And I raised my daughter alone for ten years, but that was my duty.
My brother gets divorced and raises his girls alone for barely a year and it's "my poor boy this and my poor bot that."
Oh yeah, I can relate! : 0
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