Or, What I said to the Religious Messengers
Two ernest members of a religious group, whose name I'll keep off the record, but whose initials are JW, came to the door today.
I interrupted their opening spiel with a question, "What do you clowns know about Laztheism?" Both my countenance and my tone dripped 3/4's scorn, 2/5's loathing and 3/16's opprobium.
The female member (I'm glad it wasn't the male member, because that makes for awkward phrasing...) bit. "What's Lazyeism?"
"It's not Lazyeism, Sister. It's Laztheism. As in Lazy Theism. And it's a short hand, indicating that Laztheists don't expend any energy considering Theism; we don't think about god or gods, either to worship or deny the existence thereof. Religion isn't a solution, it's just a problem." I had more to say but the male member (there, I said it...) counter-interrupted me.
"Slow down, Sailor!" he said. "Who are you to question the need for religion? If we didn't need it, it wouldn't exist...!"
"Oh yeah?" I counter-counter-interrupted. "Lots of things exist that have no proven need, value or benefit and not only do they exist, but they blossom!"
"Ha!" he said. "Name one! Go ahead, I dare you!"
Smiling a slight curvy lipped semi-sneer I accepted his challenge. I hesitated, to heighten the tension, and then whispered, "Blogging..."
Their jaws dropped. They mader furtive glances at each other and then the male member (how am I getting away with this rampant pornography?) lead the retreat.
Laztheism 1, Organized Religion 0, but it's still early in the game.
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7 comments:
I had to look up opprobrium; I love learning new words.
You should self-regulate your site; this post should have been rated R for Refuting Religious Rot.
You know, picking on JW's is a little too easy. I usually use my certitude in God's existance. This leaves them with nothing to convince me of, so they must leave. But this only happens if they are brave enough to get past my very loud dog.
PS: Pretty new digs.
Thanks, Ms. Nibbles. I took Google's offer to switch to their Beta.
I've used an early, less formalized, version of Lazy Theism on Mormon Missionaries. There's no intent to refute or "convert," I just want to get across the notion that you have a lot of time to spend as you please if you don't 'practice' a religion.
Much better template. Excellent work on the rebuke.
I for one am glad to see the fine art of blogging categorized as it should be -- something that has no proven benefit to mankind's male or female members. It's one of those addictions that seems to be one thing but probably is another. Rather like Laztheism.
Why don't we do something significant here, like choose the cast for a remake of Gone With the Wind?
Love it! : )
Do you think that these "word verification" letters are really an alien code????? Yours today were: ohbbtfdd
Hmmmmmm....
Treemonisha, first I buke and then I rebuke. Anytime you want to redesign my blog, I will glad you put it in your hands. (once again with the veiled pornography!!)
Even-handed Hope, I ignored your ploy to get people involved in recasting Gone with the Wind. Mostly because I knew you would resist Cheech Marin in the Rhett Butler role.
Grammie, I like to think of them as acronyms and then figure out the words they stand for. But naturally, I apply a male sophomoric bent to it.
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