As old men go, I'm not "age old," just "calendar old." I think most of this is due to the fact that my third wife, the ex-brassiere model, is 28 years younger than me. I didn't want to marry her, but my doctor, her father, prescribed it. And because it was a prescribed marriage, my group health carrier paid for everything but the co-payment.
Anyway, I've done places and been things, driven over a million miles, averaged a book a week since I hit puberty and manufactured over 2.6 trillion gametes. Did you know that gametes think that zygotes are basically useless except for their ability to create gametes? It's a twisted way of looking at why we, you and me, exist.
Anyway, one of my people had a meeting with a guy, but when my guy showed up, the other guy was so drunk he couldn't do more than grin and drool. Which brings me to my admission: despite having been things and done places for lo these many years, I've never been drunk. Heck, I haven't even been tipsy except that one time at a pizza place when my wife (the ex-brassiere model) dared me to drink a pitcher of beer. I didn't do it, but thinking about it sent me over the edge. She had to drive home, despite the fact that she was only 14 then.
I haven't even done marijuana or a single other recreational drug, except for snorting estrogen.
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5 comments:
You haven't been eating the mushrooms in the backyard again have you?
Oh, to never know the sweet coupling of PBR and taste buds...
Is PBR Pabst Blue Ribbon?
Hey, I've had beer. Even real beer. I just can't drink more than two in 24 hours...
It really must be an exLDS thing. LK is the biggest lightweight I have ever known.
Hey, more beer for me!
And this is why you are always right (and I am always left).
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