I, along with many brilliant geneticists, theorize that 92% of the human population (we did a poll) are subject to the human genome Fb4c gene sequence, which influences one aspect of sociability, 'getting along.'
92% of humans want to belong. Nay, they NEED to get along, to be part of something they feel is larger than themselves. They need the insulation from harsh reality that they feel 'belonging' gives them. And the impetus comes from gene-level. Not gut level, but gene level. The only thing more primal, more elemental, than gene level is mitochondral level, which is the level men must access to get their mojos.
To validate this finding, I hired an attorney, online, paid him for his conclusion, after giving him my research and a Hallmark card. I was so totally a wreck waiting for him to come to a conclusion! I kept my fingers crossed and a good thought in my head while I waited and it was SUCH a relief when he announced, in writing, over his signature, which was under Penalty of Perjury, under the laws of the State of California, that he agreed with me that most people want to get along. He waffled on actually ratifying the 92% figure, but did not hesitate to go on the record that the figure was "...like, way over half... a BUNCH way more over half, especially the cute chicks!"
Anyway, the fact is that you need to fit in. Look at how you dress, what you drive, the foods you eat, the drinks you pour down your gullet, the language you use, etc.; it all demonstrates that you are part of the 92% majority.
But yet you hold on to one or two silly affectations that allow you to pose as an independent thinker. This is why you, my friend, are part of that vast herd of independent thinkers, totally identical to the rest of the herd, by choice, except for those one or two silly affectations that you think 'set you apart from the herd.' But step back and examine the situation... maybe while you're chewing your cud...
I, surprisingly enough, am in the 8% who don't care about getting along. While my affectations are just as silly, I do NOT need to belong. I'm not kidding, just ask my wife.
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5 comments:
Can I belong to your 8%?
Ms. Nibble-dee-dee, it's not my 8%. It's Nature's 8% and I'm sure she has no idea what to do with us.
When I was a wee lad of 17 summers, I joined the military in a desperate attempt to be individual and unique. I was a rebel, I tell ya! None of my friends had done that...
Boy, did I feel like an individual in Basic Training as I stood in line with 500 other shaven-headed guys wearing exactly the same uniform...
You know, the whole reason America's getting so fat is this very reason: we are anti-social and fragmented but yearn to be part of something larger, so we make ourselves significantly larger because there's not a lot of time to talk to people when you're cramming fistfuls of Doritos down your gullet.
Plus, geneticists are scientists, who are nerds, and therefore know nothing about what people actually do because they're too busy sitting at home on weekend nights with "Babylon 5" DVDs.
By the way, I borrowed "The Herd of Independent Thinkers" from Michael Crichton's new book, "Next." I enjoyed reading it and if they can make it into a movie, I'll see it when it comes to cable. Which for me is pretty high praise.
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