People, notably my wife, have been asking, "Bert, what happened, where were you?"
I answer is, and will always remain, "I was busy!"
You know those moving sidewalks of Sci-Fi fame, were the closer to the left edge (in America... In England, it's the right edge) of the moving strips, the faster they're going? Well, I got onto the fastest strip and it's a hell of a ride. You can't really keep your balance and you end up laying on the moving strip, hoping your brushed denim shirt and corduroy pants will create enough friction to keep you from sliding off in the turns.
Anyway, some guy came strolling by selling magnetic slippers, so now I can at least stand up. And thanks to my Blackberry and the newly renovated Google-Pack of mobile applications, I can do anything on my Blackberry that I can do on my computer, albeit at a much slower rate, as I have not yet learned touch typing on the Blackberry keyboard.
The curb painting business has exploded for me. What can I say, I hung in there and now I'm reaping the rewards of my long and faithful service. But it's hectic; there's no way I'll reach the level of mendacity, I mean productivity, of my earlier days.
And yes, I have Tony out there hustling his litte ass off.
And also yes, we are still playing as much gold as ever. Proving my attention to the important details of life.
I'm glad to see that all of you are still toiling in the vineyard, or blogyard, of truth, justice and the Terran way.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
The Way of All Flesh
Entropy is always going to win, but you shouldn't roll over and play dead. Which is the first thing I thought of when I read this tidbit in the L.A. Times:
"The church was designated a city historic-cultural landmark in 1992. Religious ceremonies were halted there five years later because of a dwindling congregation.
"Earlier this year, a developer announced plans to convert the building into a combination bar, restaurant and church. "
"The church was designated a city historic-cultural landmark in 1992. Religious ceremonies were halted there five years later because of a dwindling congregation.
"Earlier this year, a developer announced plans to convert the building into a combination bar, restaurant and church. "
X-Mess & Child Support
The two stories aren't actually related, but it is X-Mess Day so if I tell you the child support story today, they become intertwined...
A very, very rich California man began an affair with a woman. I haven't seen a photo of this woman, but odds are she was a total hottie. Or haughtie... 20 years ago he got her pregnant. 16 years ago he did it again, so that they now have a 19 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. And because this is California and he was very, very rich, he didn't marry her. Wouldn't even live with her, so as to rule out even a palimony claim on her behalf.
They agreed on a child support formula and when she began her lawsuit on the kids' behalf, she was getting $17,000 a month for each kid. That's $34,000 a month, tax free. Think about that, you moms out there... What could you do with $17,000 a month, tax free, for each of your kids?
The law suit is asking 2.2 million dollars a month. Their reasoning? He can afford it. I think they must be Democrats.
A very, very rich California man began an affair with a woman. I haven't seen a photo of this woman, but odds are she was a total hottie. Or haughtie... 20 years ago he got her pregnant. 16 years ago he did it again, so that they now have a 19 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. And because this is California and he was very, very rich, he didn't marry her. Wouldn't even live with her, so as to rule out even a palimony claim on her behalf.
They agreed on a child support formula and when she began her lawsuit on the kids' behalf, she was getting $17,000 a month for each kid. That's $34,000 a month, tax free. Think about that, you moms out there... What could you do with $17,000 a month, tax free, for each of your kids?
The law suit is asking 2.2 million dollars a month. Their reasoning? He can afford it. I think they must be Democrats.
Monday, December 24, 2007
It's Almost X-Mess !!
It's almost 9:00 p.m., PDT, on X-Mess Eve. My brain chemistry resists depression. I have the opposite of clinical depression. Lucky me.
The winter solstice is sort of a metaphor for getting over X-Mess; after the solstice the days start to get longer. Longer days stands for coming out from the darkness that are "The Holidays."
I'm not against enjoying myself, and having those around me enjoy themselves. I'm just against being told HOW and WHEN we're all supposed to enjoy ourselves. Even if you loved sushi, wouldn't you feel weird if Christmas Dinner consisted of a grand sushi/sashimi feast? Your cultural instinct would create an aura of inappropriateness.
Cultural imperatives seek to define us. Think about defining yourself.
As the days get longer, may your time in the sunshine be entertaining.
(And yes, the summer solstice (for the Northern Hemi-Engine-sphere) should be greeted with a bit of sadness for the next six months of lessening golf time.)
The winter solstice is sort of a metaphor for getting over X-Mess; after the solstice the days start to get longer. Longer days stands for coming out from the darkness that are "The Holidays."
I'm not against enjoying myself, and having those around me enjoy themselves. I'm just against being told HOW and WHEN we're all supposed to enjoy ourselves. Even if you loved sushi, wouldn't you feel weird if Christmas Dinner consisted of a grand sushi/sashimi feast? Your cultural instinct would create an aura of inappropriateness.
Cultural imperatives seek to define us. Think about defining yourself.
As the days get longer, may your time in the sunshine be entertaining.
(And yes, the summer solstice (for the Northern Hemi-Engine-sphere) should be greeted with a bit of sadness for the next six months of lessening golf time.)
Sunday, December 23, 2007
The Laztheist X-Mess
X-Mess comes but once a year . . .
Here's how Laztheism would solve (and enhance) the X-Mess experience.
On June 01, 2008, the Master Computer that runs the United States will match up every American resident who will be over the age of 18 on 12-24-2008 with another American resident. This will be the only gift each American resident will have to buy for X-Mess, 2008.
Kids under the age of 18 on 12-24-08 will have to suffer the old system, doing the same old Santa-letter writing and begging.
The economy will not suffer. Once you've purchased a decent gift for the name assigned, you can use whatever other money you have to buy yourself "presents." So there will still be plenty of shopping going on. After all, you can't really count on your assigned gift giver to do as good a job as you can do for yourself.
The upside is the lack of pressure to buy gifts for "loved ones" and friends. All that pressure is gone. All that money you spent on your dumb ass family members can go to your kids and yourself. But mostly yourself.
And now, as we Laztheists say at this time of year: Have yourself!
Here's how Laztheism would solve (and enhance) the X-Mess experience.
On June 01, 2008, the Master Computer that runs the United States will match up every American resident who will be over the age of 18 on 12-24-2008 with another American resident. This will be the only gift each American resident will have to buy for X-Mess, 2008.
Kids under the age of 18 on 12-24-08 will have to suffer the old system, doing the same old Santa-letter writing and begging.
The economy will not suffer. Once you've purchased a decent gift for the name assigned, you can use whatever other money you have to buy yourself "presents." So there will still be plenty of shopping going on. After all, you can't really count on your assigned gift giver to do as good a job as you can do for yourself.
The upside is the lack of pressure to buy gifts for "loved ones" and friends. All that pressure is gone. All that money you spent on your dumb ass family members can go to your kids and yourself. But mostly yourself.
And now, as we Laztheists say at this time of year: Have yourself!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
