Homilies & Grits.

or, Homilies for Homies

When you play with words as much as I do, sometimes you say something that passes for new age wisdom. Here's one I came up with at dinner tonight:

"People who do serious drugs may not have a death wish, but they sure don't have much of a life wish."

I expect to see this homily used in an ABC afterschool special by March of 2007.

"The Iron Age Rusted, but who didn't see that coming." This one just sprouted, totally unbidden, from my lips when we were studying menopause in Sunday School. Only Huey Mortenson got it. He and I always were ahead of our time.

"Your mother wears underwear!" I shouted this, at the ever so tippy-top of my lungs at an exotic dancer who threatened to expose me. I was trying to hurt her in a way she'd never been hurt before. Did I succeed? I haven't the slightest idea. This was, again, in Sunday School, and I was asked to go to the healing room. But later Huey Mortenson stopped by to say that the exotic dancer didn't say another word for the rest of the class.

"La Paz es la no-intervención." I am told that this translates, loosely, into 'peace is not getting involved.' I wish I'd thought of it. But I cribbed it from a website about Mexico; it's supposed to be that country's motto. Here in America ours is "In God we Trust." Which do you think is better?