The Forgotten Voter Bloc

There is a bloc of American voters who never get any press. No one really seems to be courting them: These potential voters are unregistered, disaffected, socially uncommitted single males.

Look around you: how many single males do you know who have campaign bumper stickers on their cars? Aren't there any number of single males you know who wouldn't surprise you by not being registered to vote? How many single males do you know who the day after Obama's acceptance speech were talking about having watched it? Isn't it true that you know some single males whose failure to vote on Nov. 8th would not surprise you?

These guys, and their numbers are incalculable because they either don't answer the phone or tell the pollsters that they're too busy, or pretend to be illegal aliens, have been ignored for years and years. No party courts them because no party, until now, has had anything these guys wanted.

So if McPalin beats O'Biden in November, it could be because enough members of this Forgotten Voter Bloc thought sexy Sarah was hot! They won't be pulling the lever for Republican politics; nope, they'll be voting for something personally fulfilling, substantially primal and overarchingly essential: a good looking woman with whom you could hold a interesting conversation while waiting to get it up again.

There are few things more exciting to a disaffected male than a hot looking woman who knows how to field strip, clean and maintain a her man's gun and will absolutely, positively have his baby... Sure she's whack for thinking the Humanity sprang into existence 6,000 years ago, but c'mon, with a rack like that, you gotta cut her some slack!!

Will there be enough of these disaffected males to put McPalin into the White House? Only time will tell, only time will tell.

And now back to you in the studio, Jane.